Get all 6 Adam Nieting releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Bahorik in Bm, A Captive, Exiled to the Void, Songs to Forget Me By, Songs to Demo Me By, Half-Truths and Hyperbole, and The Ex Mass EP.
1. |
Adaptability
05:03
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You get used,
used and used to
whatever mine you're sentenced to.
Whatever mine they've got will do.
You get used,
used and moved to
whatever mine they say, "Here. Dig."
and grows so big the brute within,
all he knows is dig.
A Zygerrian Kenobi,
I sprung the trap.
And, though I'm strong enough,
I wasn't built for that
and got burned,
netted, and turned.
They say that it gets better
some later day.
I find it gets bleaker.
It gets bleaker
and you grow ever more
used to it.
You get used to it,
Grow immune to it
as you grow gray
and forget
if you ever had those dreams
spent and used,
used in misabuse.
You can numb
but not quite soothe
the latest razor you've got
left to chew.
You get used,
used and used to
whatever mine they stick you in.
No matter how you say, "That's it."
All you've got's the pit.
All you've got's the bit.
All you've got's the pit.
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2. |
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You held me under the uselessness
that you had for the office I held.
Growling at me within silences
you divert, then invite me to bed.
You put my hands on aging skin,
these ancient arms holding a hope.
Showering me with indifference
while you beg, "Let us each other know."
But I don't know.
Though I've heard of the pains you have seen
and from whence they have come I have been.
Still, I don't know
how you stay
and yet go.
You loved me for my incompetence
and spurned me for holding your hand.
Growing in me brand new grievances
I endure with the hope you have rent
and the patience I've won from an absence
as affections that you've never had
claw after me through resistance
that you seed to rebel - although slow.
The strain on your conscience is cracking
for your beautiful sight of the dead.
Howling at me my own violence
you lament, then invite me to bed.
And I don't know,
though I've taken the brunt of your dreams
and the toxins that push you to leave,
why I still hold
though I believe you will go.
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3. |
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I saw you dancing in shadows,
in the light that spilled out to the brick
from your large and tightly kept window.
I admit, I was taken by it.
For you'd come to me smiling
your soft little cheeks
and your bashful, impregnable eyes,
and we'd shuffle our feet and deny that we meet
with attraction we cannot survive.
I could hear your dance by your footsteps
as the light flickered, stuttered, and quit.
I could sense you draw near by the perfume
on your breeze as you'd spin, lift, and twist -
as you'd come to me waving your lost handkerchief
that you found to help cover your lies.
From your light little feet watch me kneel down and weep
as you'd dance off into the sunrise.
In the night now I find you in shadows,
in the light that spills out to the brick
in this darkened old alley so narrow,
where the tragedy forced me to sit.
For you had me all day in our meek little play
that you dressed up in white for my sighs.
Then you handed me in with a blessing and wish that I write,
but now, only goodbyes.
In the night now surrounded by shadows;
no more does light spill to the brick.
But I rub the dark in like aloe
and recall your impassionate kiss.
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4. |
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I should have been more patient.
Perhaps I lacked love for your name.
I should have kept on waiting;
remaining in your sight
a stain
deprived of all comfort and shamed.
Oh try me, despise me
for making you quit;
for cursing you quickly and forcing your way,
and hurting you using the hurt sent my way.
Inexperienced and impatient,
you had no use for my name.
I held your side all the same,
ignoring the quick growing pain.
The warning you gave still remains.
I'm bracing myself not to leave,
imbibing your worry and fear.
You stayed, because I remained,
while plotting escape
with the rain.
Oh buy me, incline me,
and alter my brain
to look for you quickly
and call on your name
while ever becoming
my comfort, my pain.
I was not able to take it.
I thought I could shoulder the strain.
I held on beyond shaking,
but slipped when my hands
held no claim.
Oh try me, despise me,
but keep me in chains.
You hurt me more quickly
with shards of hard clay.
You're killing me using
my gift if your way.
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5. |
Magnechism
05:58
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You let me run
into your presence.
But you did not draw me close,
nor let me in.
I fear to speak.
Have I the privilege?
Is your mind burstin' in,
or have I sinned?
Please lift your eyes.
Please don't be silent.
Do not turn me to a ghost
here at your side.
For I am drawn to you.
Despite all you put me through
and all the ways I find I'm wasting time,
I am drawn to you.
And that's why you run me through
every time you exercise your mind for flight.
She lifts her eyes
and aims toward leaving.
I wonder, does she see
she's leaving me?
Oh I know she does.
More, I'm one reason.
And yet, she decrees
me to her side
where I am drawn to
despite all her bitter moods
that mirror me, a sigh in my own eye.
Dear, I am wantin' you.
Don't know why I run to you.
What a fruitless exercise in sharing time.
I know you'll run
in some direction,
but it will not be my side
by which you stand.
But let me run
into your presence.
And if against you I have sinned,
please me forgive
And let me be drawn to you
for emotional abuse,
for the knives that I will bite,
for glass in my eye.
Still I am drawn to you
despite all you put me through
when you threaten and despise me
with goodbye.
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6. |
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She said,
"Always remember
that I care about you.
You're special to me
and valuable.
I appreciate you
and am glad
you are in my life."
Signed with a heart.
And I thought,
just not enough.
Just not enough
to stay with me
or promise
me anything.
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7. |
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Thieves play for keeps
and trade against trouble.
At least the good ones do.
But I could never reach
such lofty levels.
For I've had eyes,
and a grand design
to be a noble thief
with lessons in morality to teach.
A kind of traveling exhibition
of diamonds, and bones,
and inhibitions.
Singin', "I'm gonna move to Portland
for to steal your girlfriend
and be bitter toward what I've found."
For I remember her endowed
with a phosphorescent crown
desired in ways less than right.
Wishin' I could be surprised
to find myself near and dear
to another not-right.
My job's to sweep
And sort through the rubble,
to re-liquefy glue.
Concocting a drink of
trod upon gravel.
A delicious brine
with a thirst to die
of a broke relief.
A regret I will cherish and keep.
A coin flip ‘twixt desire and restriction.
No diamonds, but bones
and incisions.
Singin," I'm gonna move to Richmond
for to steal some girlfriend
and be better toward what I've found.”
For I remember her once desired crown
of beauty, and ballast,
and blight
desired in ways less than right.
Wishin' I could be surprised.
Dubbin me the self-despised
to find myself here cleaved tight
to another man's wife.
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8. |
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Oh, how great is Your compassion,
Faithful Father, God of grace,
That with all our fallen race
In our depth of degradation
You had mercy so that we
Might be saved eternally!
Your great love for this hath striven
That we may, from sin made free.
Live with You eternally.
Your dear Son Himself has given
And extends His gracious call,
To His Supper leads us all.
Firmly to our souls' salvation
Witnesses Your Spirit, Lord,
In Your Sacraments and Word.
There He sends true consolation,
Giving us the gift of faith
That we fear nor hell nor death.
Lord, Your mercy will not leave me;
Ever will Your truth abide.
Then in You I will confide.
Since Your Word cannot deceive me,
My salvation is to me
Safe and sure eternally.
I will praise Your great compassion,
Faithful Father, God of grace,
That with all our fallen race
In our depth of degradation
You had mercy so that we
Might be saved eternally!
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